Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

To be fair, this does sound very nice.

Overheard of the Week: 

A 40-something man with a thick Italian accent, drinking a White Claw on the water taxi on a Sunday:

Man: “This whole experience is so refreshing. The only way this could be better is if I had a York Peppermint Patty right now.”

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This is why we can’t have nice stereotypes

At back to school night at a private school in D.C.: 

The teacher asks to “say your name, your child’s name, and how long you’ve been at the school.” Everyone was able to follow her direction except for this guy.

“Hi I’m Bob. When I was in the Obama administration (insert a good 90 seconds of work history). ……. oh and my son is Johnathan, it’s our first year”

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Fair enough 

On Massachusetts Avenue and 18th Street NW during afternoon rush hour:

A man on a regular bike yells at a woman whooshing by on an electric Jump bike: “CHEATER!!”

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The D.C.-est sports heckling 

An enthusiastic fan at the Nationals vs Brewers Wild Card game, heckling the Brewers:

“You are a bad organization! You are fatally flawed!”

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Everyone’s a CNN legal analyst

Circulator from Union Station to Georgetown Friday afternoon:

Young twenty-something #1: “I don’t know. ‘High crimes and misdemeanors’??! I guess that could be murder.”
Young twenty-something #2: “I really don’t think it’s going to go anywhere.”
Young twenty-something #1: “Me neither.”

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Know thyself

Friday night after Nationals game:

A family is walking by an apartment building just as a very off key verse of “22” is being sung from a balcony.

Mom: “See, that’s why mommy doesn’t do karaoke”

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Love it when that happens 

Two 30-something men crossing Connecticut Ave:

“She made good decisions out of spite.”

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Respect

At a private, catered art event in Adams Morgan, a mid-thirties man walks in with a large Wawa coffee.

A woman approaches him, and gives him a thumbs up: “Saw you rolling in with a Wawa coffee in your hand! Respect the Wawa.”

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This man must get so much spit in his drinks

A middle-aged man at the bar talking to a 20-something female he just met at the bar: 

Male: “So what do you do?”
Female: “I’m a bartender.”
Male: “Barmaid.”
Female: “Bartender.”
Man: “I’m old fashioned, I still say stewardess…lady doctors.”

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Who indeed

On the D4 on Thursday, two college-aged or recently graduated girls are taking

“So they went to the hospital together to get tested because, you know, goals.”
later
“… because if it wasn’t from him then who?”

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This is quaint! 

Walking down Q Street toward 14th. The light at the intersection is red, and there are a couple cars waiting for it to turn green:

There’s a guy in a convertible with the top down, and another guy walking down the sidewalk.

Guy in convertible: “Hey man, what’s up!”
Guy on sidewalk, holding up a wicker basket: “Oh not much, just buying a wicker basket for my girlfriend off of Craigslist.”
Guy in convertible: “Looks like a nice wicker basket!”

The light turns green and he drives off. The submitter notes that “it did look like a nice wicker basket.”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.