Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

There are a lot of reasons to hide out in the bathroom during a concert, but this may be the best one.

Overheard of the Week

In the women’s restroom at U Street Music Hall during an all ages show.

Woman 1: “Are you in line?”
Woman 2: “No, I’m not in line. I just came in here to have a little marijuana away from my child.”

——

Don’t back down! 

Two coworkers in their late 30s talking loudly to each other while walking into work.

Coworker 1: “He took it right out of the bag?”
Coworker 2: “Yeah! I’m being bullied by a Navy Yard squirrel!”

——

Er, it’s “and”

At Number Nine on Thursday evening, two young professional gay men are waiting at the bar

Man 1: “I can never remember if it’s Sex and the City or Sex in the City.”
Man 2: “I definitely know that it isn’t Sex with the City!”

——

Somebody get granny a copy of Harry Potter, stat 

At Buna coffee shop, in Petworth

Grandma: What does your shirt say?
Girl: “It says, ‘It’s levi-O-sa, not levio-SA.”
Grandma: “Oh, when did you start taking Spanish?”

——

Discussing your MySpace skills is one way to stick out in a job interview 

Two coworkers are talking after walking out of a job interview at an international non-profit

Coworker 1: “That’s the strangest interview I’ve ever had.”
Coworker 2: “When we asked if she was detail oriented, she said ‘of course, I’m a Virgo.'”
Coworker 1: “And gave MySpace as an example for social media and editing skills. Is she even old enough to have MySpace?”
Coworker 2: “She must have been about 10 when it came out.”

——

Things aren’t looking great for Marty

At Gate 42 at National Airport, a woman in business attire is talking on her cell phone

“I need to know who screwed this up. Was it Linda or Marty?”
(Pause)
“It was Marty wasn’t it?”
(Pause)
“I knew it! You tell Marty I want to see him first thing in the morning.”

——

Breaking news at 11

U Street at 3 p.m. on Saturday. A man and a woman are walking past Fainting Goat

Her: “Yeah, the weather is worse than here.”
Him: “Wait, Florida is humid?”
Her: “100 percent.”

——

No child, it is not. 

A mom and two kids are stepping off the escalator at the Capitol South Metro

10-year-old boy: “Is this New York City?”

——

Really trying to imagine how this could be the case

Three very serious 30-something women are chatting on a bench in Shirlington Saturday evening:

Woman 1: “How would you describe her dress?”
Woman 2: “Ambiguous.”

——

Well that’s some refreshing honesty

Gate attendant to frustrated passengers of an EWR-bound United flight indefinitely delayed for a mechanical issue:

“This can only get better or worse, we don’t know.”

——

Oh sir, they definitely are not

At 7th and Constitution, a man is looking at the crowd of people waiting to get into the Snallygaster beer festival on Saturday around noon:

“Why are people lining up for the Federal Trade Commission?”

——

Sometimes mothers really do know best

A 20-something woman is talking to a friend on the phone on Sunday evening in NoMa:

“… so I screamed at him ‘You’re buying the rest of my drinks for the night and taking me on a date next weekend where I get to buy the most expensive thing on the menu!’ Yeah, mom says I can do better but I honestly feel like I have the upper hand in the situation.”

——

But what if Cheetos are a sacrament?

Two twenty-something women are walking down Connecticut Avenue on Sunday around 10 a.m., seemingly on their way to a workout class.

Woman 1: “Ugh, I just love Flaming Hot Cheetos.”
Woman 2: “Flaming Hot Cheetos are NOT good for this temple of a body!”

——

Is that supposed to be an excuse?

At a cafe near Federal Triangle on Thursday morning, a group of middle-aged men are catching up over coffee

Man 1: “Man, is it burrito time yet?”
Man 2: “Dude, I’ve had one sip of coffee!”

——

It’s basically a visa requirement

At the IMF headquarters during IMF/World Bank Annual Meetings, an Irish woman is talking to her American friend

“The chancellor’s been having burgers. Because apparently that’s what you do when you come to America!”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.