Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

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Yeah yeah, I’ve heard the saying that D.C. is Hollywood for ugly people. But teasing out the idea of “D.C.-hot” is honestly going to keep me amused all weekend long.

Overheard of the Week: 

Two women are sitting in the H Street NE Whole Foods eating area, discussing dating

One woman: “… He had a good job but there wasn’t much else there. He was D.C.-hot. Do you know what I mean?”

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People contain multitudes

A woman is walking towards the McPherson Square Metro on Wednesday and talking on the phone

Woman: “He took a s#$% while making eye contact with my mom. It was my first time going away and he really doesn’t like it.” (a few moments pass) “Okay, I have the edibles for you. They are in the upper right drawer.”

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Or are you just three kids stacked on top of each other?

A bunch of people are on the Metro, including a man in a tan trench coat standing near the door and two young boys (about 7-8 years old) seated nearby

Older Boy, to the Man in the Trench Coat: “Hey mister, my brother wants to know if you’re a detective.”

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Start by making your bed

Two 20 -30 something guys looking around on Good Wood on U Street NW

Guy:  “I need to get my apartment together so my parents think I’m happy and healthy.”

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Women’s clothing creates low expectations

Saturday morning, yoga pants-clad woman at Navy Yard Bethesda Bagels

Woman: “I’m so obsessed with having pockets in my pants.”

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No, God bless YOU

At Perry’s in Adams Morgan, a woman sneezes. Over at the bar, others turn to say “Bless you.”

Woman: “I’m a multiple sneezer, wish I could orgasm like that.”

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Basically nailed it

On Friday, on a bus near the George Washington University campus

Seemingly college or grad student on the phone: “The Washington baseball team won the nationals or something and I think there’s a parade tomorrow.”

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He’s probably on one of the remixes

In Adams Morgan, a 6-year-old boy is talking excitedly with his parents

Kid: “And did you know they named someone after Duke Ellington Bridge?”
Dad: “I’m pretty sure that they named the bridge after a person, not the other way around. He was a famous musician.”
Kid: “Oh. Did he write ‘Old Town Road’?”

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How do you argue with that?

At Whole Foods in upper NW, on Halloween, a 9 year old is dressed as a donut

Donut-costumed kid gestures to the donut case and says to her mom: “I mean, you kinda have to get me one.”

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On the White House lawn, no less

A man, late 30’s, is standing with coworkers in a business suit and Nats baseball cap on the White House Lawn, waiting for the Nationals’ World Series Celebration

Man: “Nothing says D.C. like getting hammered at noon.”

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It’s about taking your Chevy to the levy, obviously

Three coworkers are waiting for their orders at the Crystal City Starbucks 

Coworker 1: “I don’t get it, I really can’t stand that song, just like ‘Ms. American Pie.'”
Coworker 2: “Yeah, what is that song even about? Does anyone know what he’s even supposed to be singing about?”
Coworker 3: *nods in agreement*

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.