Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

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The impeachment hearings (and the attendant drink specials) really have this town asking the hard questions.

Overheard of the Week

At the Tune Inn:

Bartender: “What’s harder, impeachment or getting thrown out of the Tune Inn?”
Customer: “Well, the Tune will usually let you back in.”

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We’ve all been here (and the answer is yes) 

At the Trader Joe’s on 14th St NW around 8:30 p.m. on a weekday night. A man dressed in professional clothes is clearly in for a quick trip and facing the olive oil section: 

Guy, starting a phone call: “So my real mom isn’t available and I have a mom question for you and want your opinion. For a salad, is it worth it to buy the fancy olive oil?”

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Glass Tupperware is truly the worst

On the Red Line towards Glenmont

Guy 1: “You left your Tupperware at my place.”
Guy 2: “Oh, is it glass?”
Guy 1: “Yes.”
Guy 2: “You like it?”
Guy 1: “You’re not giving me your Tupperware. That would be illegal.”

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Nemeses 

A guy is talking loudly and angrily on Bluetooth/wireless headphones while entering the Foggy Bottom Metro station:

“Yep! And she’s the one who’s been preventing me from making ‘Forty Under Forty’ for years now!’

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Well that paints a picture

In the restroom of the Number Nine cocktail bar:

Man 1 walks in and says: “It smells like a scented candle in here.”
Man 2: “Trying to cover the smell of urine”
Man 1: “…and desperation.”

——

Exercise people really live in a different world 

At the Orange Theory in the West End., a man and woman are looking up at the monitor displaying, in bar graph form, each individual’s performance statistics from class.

Woman: “That’s a sexy, sexy pyramid!”

——

Let the man have his moment! 

An older man and woman are talking outside the Rhode Island Avenue DMV.

Man: “I got promoted at my job!”
Woman: “What did you say?”
Man: “I said ‘I got promoted at my job!'”
Woman: “Congratulations!” (pause) “You married yet?”

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Not the worst way to live

On the bus, a man in his 50s is on the phone

Man: “Well, I eat garlic… and I bake garlic… I’m getting pretty close to where I’m garlic now.”

—

Er, they don’t usually admit to it

Thursday evening at the Junior League of Washington headquarters in Georgetown:

Woman 1: “You look tan! Did you go somewhere?”
Woman 2: “Florida. My parents are moving there to avoid taxes.”
Woman 1 nods approvingly

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