Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

What a year for being nosy! We’ve been alternately charmed, amazed, doubled over in laughter, and disturbed by the snippets of conversations that you’ve overheard and sent our way. Here were our favorite moments to experience second-hand in 2019.

Charmed, I’m sure

At the FDR Memorial, an out-of-town family is checking out the statue of Eleanor Roosevelt

The youngest boy, around 5 years old, goes up to the statue and stretches out his hand: “Hello, m’lady.”

—

Number-one relationship killer

At the National Zoo, a couple of young women are talking

Woman 1: “She broke up with him because she was annoyed by what he was doing.”
Woman 2: “What did he do?”
Woman 1: “He was super nice to her!!!”

—

Yes, this is science

At Lucky Bar on Wednesday around 6 p.m., just after a big storm started, a group of 20-somethings are sitting together for happy hour. Man takes a drink of beer.

Man: “Gotta stay hydrated, could get struck by lightning.”

—

I know what you are, but what am I?

In Penn Quarter, the night of the World Central Kitchen fundraiser, people with wristbands are wandering among the participating restaurants.

20-something guy in navy suit to friend also in suit: “You don’t want to go there, it’s all guys in suits.”

—

We know what you mean

Two women are sitting in the H Street NE Whole Foods eating area, discussing dating

One woman: “… He had a good job but there wasn’t much else there. He was D.C.-hot. Do you know what I mean?”

—

Just wait until he asks why there’s a new goldfish …

At the Blessing of the Animals at the Franciscan Monastery 

Toddler in his mom’s arms: “Where is God?”
Mom: “Oh, that’s a big question. We’ll talk about it later.”

—

Is this why the line for the women’s room is always so long?

In the women’s restroom at U Street Music Hall during an all ages show.

Woman 1: “Are you in line?”
Woman 2: “No, I’m not in line. I just came in here to have a little marijuana away from my child.”

—

Don’t back down! 

Two coworkers in their late 30s talking loudly to each other while walking into work.

Coworker 1: “He took it right out of the bag?”
Coworker 2: “Yeah! I’m being bullied by a Navy Yard squirrel!”

—

Not technically a lie

Two late twenty-something women in an Uber: 

Woman 1: “Doesn’t your mom work at the White House?”
Woman 2: “Yeah, I just tell people she works in ‘administration’ …. I just don’t say which administration.”

—

Dream big, sir 

At a farm stand in Silver Spring, a male employee is reorganizing pumpkins

Man: “I always wanted to ride a Harley across the U.S., but now I think I’ll just ride a scooter across D.C.”

—

So what does that make Fruit Loops?

On the evening red line to Shady Grove

Man: “My favorite cereal is actually shredded wheat.”
Woman: “Oh God! That’s like the Brutalism of breakfast cereal!”

—

When the differences are just so apparent

Wednesday night on 18th Street NW, two 20-something dudebros are sitting with and talking at a 20-something woman at an outdoor table at Bul

Dudebro 1: “I’m a consultant. And [Dudebro 2] is also a consultant. But we consult on different things.”

—

Turning the acronym into a Myers-Briggs type

At The Eleanor in NoMa about 10 p.m. on Wednesday night, two women in their mid-twenties are talking

Woman 1: “See that building across the street? That’s the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives…and JUULs.”

—

The future liberals want

Three small children (maybe five or six years old) at Poodle Beach playing in the sand nearby, building a sandcastle.

Little girl 1: “Let’s play Princes and Princesses in the castle! (talking to the little boy) You can be the handsome prince (then turning to the other girl) and we can both be pretty princesses!”
Slightly older little girl 2: “We’re not supposed to play games that have such strict gender constructs. Let’s just all be very talented elves instead.”
Little boy, nods approvingly: “Yes, elves. Elves are better.”

—

Stealing cyclist valor

At the pro shop at the East Potomac Golf Course last Friday, two late 20s guys are talking

Guy 1: “I want people to think I bike to work but don’t want to show up sweaty, so I put on biking clothes every morning and then take an Uber to a block away.”

—

I bet he does now

At Whole Foods in Silver Spring:

Husband: “I didn’t know there was a Women’s World Cup.”
Wife: “Say it louder so everyone knows what a dick you are.”

—

Fair enough?

Woman in line at Trader Joe’s on 14th Street

Woman: “My friend was like, ‘I think I’m going to go into fracking,’ and I was like, cool, what a great reason to break up with you tomorrow.”

—

Embrace it

Around noon on 14th Street on a 90+-degree Saturday

20-something woman to friend: “It took maybe a year of living here for me to just get over myself and be fine with being sweaty all the time.”

—

But how are the benefits?

Crossing the street near the Farragut North Metro:

Excited intern on the phone with friend: “It’s going great! I’m basically a paid internet troll!”

—

A common problem

At the corner of K and 5th streets NW, three twenty-somethings are walking on a Saturday evening

Woman: “Really, the only options are to go to bed or to drink more, so we’ll have to evaluate that situation.”

—

Or are you just three kids stacked on top of each other?

A bunch of people are on the Metro, including a man in a tan trench coat standing near the door and two young boys (about 7-8 years old) seated nearby

Older boy, to the man in the trench coat: “Hey mister, my brother wants to know if you’re a detective.”

—

Depends on the situation

A group of probable Hill interns walking to Union Station

Guy 1 to group: “You know, if someone tells you ‘my karate background has prepared me for this moment’, it’s a lame moment. Like, okay buddy.”

—

Maybe he saw the special holiday Circulator 

Near Union Station

Dad to a boy, probably about 3 years old: “That’s not the Magic School Bus, Henry. That’s the Circulator.”

—

Touché

Early evening in Glover Park

Mom to her 6- or 7-year-old daughter: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
Daughter: “Then why do you always tell me to be like Jesus?”

—

Never too late

At the Cherry Blossom festival last weekend near the Wharf

Woman: “Yeah. I’m glad I wasn’t too big of a mess in college because I would have definitely gotten a cherry blossom tattooed on my ass.”

—

Yuh oh

On the Blue Line commute headed downtown from King Street

Woman 1: “So excited you got that job interview with that company you wanted. How did it go?”
Woman 2: “Not well. I told the interviewer ‘You look really familiar.’ ‘Yeah’ he said. ‘We dated five years ago and you dumped me.’”

—

Gotta love family get-togethers

At Wisconsin and M on Saturday afternoon, two older women are crossing the street

Woman with an Irish accent: “As his now-dead sister used to say to me in Buenos Aires, ‘Carrie, you’re no addition to this holiday.’”

—

Prove her wrong

Two early-mid 20s women are getting on a train at Farragut West

Woman 1: “And of course his name is Todd. Which is objectively just the worst name for a guy.”
Woman 2 nods vigorously.

—

We’re getting ready for another year full of overheards. As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.