Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the Week:
A couple is on a date, dining outdoors at a Georgetown restaurant:
Woman: “And that’s how I met Jack Kennedy.”
Her date: “Reminds me of the time I met Dan Quayle.”
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It’s a love story baby just say yes
A guy and a girl are clearly on a first date at a Navy Yard restaurant:
Girl: “Well everyone has a crazy ex story, what’s yours?”
Guy: “Hrmm, I don’t think I have a crazy ex…”
Girl: “Maybe I can be your crazy ex!”
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What’s it like in his brain?
A guy and gal are talking near U and 14th Streets NW, by Wydown Coffee:
Girl: “Did you see outdoor gatherings are up to 50 people now? This summer is gonna be lit!”
Guy: “It’s always lit here. Like an eternal flame.”
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Nature is healing
A bro is in line for Wundergarten at 7:00 pm on Friday night.
“Damn dude that’s a Bird, I haven’t seen a Bird in so long. Have you seen Birds?”
(He was talking about a scooter.)
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Adorable affirmations
At Marion Park in Capitol Hill, a father is teaching his five-year-old how to ride a bike, hanging on to the back of her shirt to make sure she doesn’t fall:
“You’re doing amazing, I don’t want to hear that you’re not good at this! You’re kicking butt, you’re the best five-year-old out here!”
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Jan. 15, 2016: Intern Problems
Two interns are standing in line at Longworth Cafeteria:
1st intern: “I have no money right now, so I am just using my parents’ credit card.”
2nd intern: “I have, like, 30 dollars sitting in my Venmo that I can’t use.”
1st intern: “Why can’t you transfer it to your bank?”
2nd intern: “I don’t know my routing number.”
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Oct. 7, 2016: That would be a good name for a studio
Two men are walking past Yoga Heights on Georgia Avenue around 7:30 a.m. as a class is just ending:
“I would love doing shit like that. Getting up in the morning and doing that yoga shit with your girlfriend.”
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Nov. 11., 2016: Thanks, New Coke fans
A group of young professionals are offering some feedback over lunch at Glen’s Garden Market Dupont:
“They should really take some lessons from Subway.”
Colleen Grablick