Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week

A family conversing at Sunday dinner in Adams Morgan:

Father: “Let’s put on our thinking caps…”
8-year-old: (pretends to put on a hat)
Father: “Now let’s think about…”
8-year-old: “The hat fell off.”

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I’m sure there’s more to his personality than that

Two dog walkers are in Logan Circle:

One to the other about their dog: “He’s only interested in butts.”

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Gratitude: pass it on

A man sits down to get his booster at the CVS near Woodley Park: 

Man: “Hey thanks for doing this!”
Employee administering booster: “Don’t thank me, I’m paid to be here.”

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Hard truths

Near Kalorama, a family with two young boys is having an enjoyable conversation:

Mom: “Which of you is going to ballroom dance with me when you’re bigger?”
Older boy: “But you’ll be old by then!”
Mom, after gasping for air: “There’s not enough alcohol in this world…”

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Why do y’all keep doing this

A group of tourists catches sight of the Capitol dome:

Early 20’s woman, shrieking: “IT’S THE WHITE HOUSE! IT’S THE WHITE HOUSE! OMG! OMG!”

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Ultimate “who invited them?” 

Overheard at the Blue Bottle in Georgetown:

Young coworker: “My work needs to feel like play, and my play needs to feel like work.”
Older coworkers: ???? (Shocked silence)
Female coworker: “…oh, that’s interesting…”

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The first line of a novel I’d definitely read

Overheard at weird bar near Gate 30 at DCA:

“Did you meet a girl named Lemon? She was from Pennsatucky.”

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How’d they get an onion in an olive, is what I want to know

Two late-20s Australian guys at Whole Foods in Navy Yard on Saturday night: 

“I had to put an onion-stuffed olive in my martini last night. It was fucking embarrassing.”

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Get you a man that can do both 

Millennial couple standing in line at the Columbia Heights Farmers Market, looking over the apple descriptions: 

Man: “Sweet and tart. Sweet and tart? How can it be both?”
Woman: “It’s like you.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.