Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week

Kid, probably about 7 years old, to his mom as they walk out of Lulabelles, a Petworth ice cream shop: 

Kid: “Mom, what’s the opposite of sorry?”
Mom: “Why?”

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No joke for this one, it’s just sad

Young woman in her 20s is in the Sibley emergency room around 6 p.m.

Woman: “I was just out jogging and was hit by a car. I think I’m OK … but I figured I should come get checked out to be safe.
Receptionist: “It’s a four-hour wait.”
Woman: “Oh … OK. Maybe I’ll come back in the morning?”

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People are gonna start going to this Target just to get on Overheards

A man and woman are shopping at the Columbia Heights target: 

Man: “This has been a very successful trip.”
Woman: “In the sense that we keep buying things we don’t need?”

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Because the connection was electric, obviously 

At Perry’s in Adams Morgan, a (seemingly) new couple is getting up after their meal. As the woman is putting her coat on, the man reaches out to cup the side of her face:

Him, nervously laughing: “Did you just flinch?”

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I bet he went home and ordered metal straws on Amazon

Overheard at Kingfisher

Guy: “Where do you work?”
Girl: “I’m at a clean energy non profit.”
Guy: “Oh cool, I’m really into recycling”.

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*Idina Menzel singing loudly*

Parents watch their children roll down a hill near the Procrastinator’s Holiday Market.

Mother: You can roll down here.
Child: *rolls into a u-turn and starts going uphill*
Mother: “You’re rolling the wrong way!”

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Do not as I do

A group of women are together at Busboys and Poets in Takoma late Friday night.

One of them: “Why would he text me ‘Are you married?’ He’s the one with the spouse.”

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So…who submitted this?

Two women in their 20s are sitting at a table at a Barracks Row restaurant on a quiet night. One woman is doing most of the talking, speaking in a very loud voice that easily drowns out the ambient street noise, and the conversation at the only other occupied table.

Loud woman (loudly): “My father is really hard of hearing.”
Man at other table (quietly, to his dining companions): “That makes sense. That makes total sense.”

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