Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard in D.C.: 

30ish guy walking down Wisconsin Ave in Georgetown says to the woman with him:

“Everybody wants to save the world. Nobody wants to do the dishes.”

—

DCist Presents: Our first ChatGPT overheard!

Three 30-somethings are chatting online at the end of a long workday:

Man: “My coworker said that I’m architecting plans and support to have folks embrace change and see the benefit of services before they make their own investment.”
Woman: “Omg that was so much jargon that the two halves of my brain achieved synergy bc they melted into each other.”

—

A war general being an asshole? Seems unlikely but…

Three guys at JRs on 17th Street, two in an intense convo about the Civil War:

“You have to admit, Sherman was kind of an asshole.”

—

Normalize being normal

Three friends are exiting the Braddock Road Metro. Two friends are trying to get the third to hang out the following weekend:

Third friend: “No! I’m a free bird … sometimes when I see a bird bath I get in it.”

—

Genuinely hope everything is okay

Leaving from the main entrance of Sibley Hospital, a young woman in hospital scrubs is talking to someone on the phone while leaving the building:

“Well, I didn’t have to sleep on the couch last night.”

—

Title of Lana Del Rey’s next single

Overheard outside the Disco Biscuits show at the Anthem:

“Let’s do cocaine and play pool.”

—

If not for the orchestra, then for what? 

The Anthem security is checking everyone’s ID before entering a National Symphony Orchestra concert. After getting a wristband, a young man turns and mutters to his friend:

“I’m not gonna drink. I’m not getting turnt for the orchestra.”

—

Who overheard this? 

Around 11 p.m. in the Medstar Washington Hospital Center Emergency Department, two nurses in their late 20s/early 30s are tending to a patient:

Nurse 1: “Hey, do you have the scanner?”
Nurse 2: “Yes, I have it. (To the patient) See this scanner? This is the holy grail right here!”
Nurse 2: *tries to turn on the scanner*
Nurse 2: “…it’s dead.”

—

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.