Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

On the Tenleytown Metro escalator:

Woman on the phone: “I told you he was only calling for that WAP!”

—

High art and low art can be equally entertaining…

In the grand foyer of the Kennedy Center. A father is talking to his teenage daughter who has clearly selected the evening’s entertainment.

“We’re here. They’re doing La Boheme. And we’re seeing Spamalot.”

—

Broken hearts, broken leases

Two 30-something couples dining at a restaurant patio at 2nd and G streets NE:

Woman: “You can’t just break up out of nowhere when you share a lease; you have to have a plan.”

—

Ok so if anyone wants to hear the rest of the story, I witnessed it all! 

Outside of D Light cafe in Adams Morgan, a man is waiting with his dog on a leash. A woman approaches and they exchange a few words, clearly meeting for the first time:

Woman, smiling: “Yeah so I’m not a huuuge dog person…”

After a bit of an awkard back and forth he hands her the leash, and he heads inside the cafe. Two women exit the cafe and recognize the woman now standing with the leash, clearly friends: 

Woman holding dog leash to friends: “I’ve been left alone with a dog on a first date. Kill me.”

—

Yeah, blame the rain

Saturday at the Tabard Inn, group of 20-somethings, one guy to another guy visiting from out of town:

“I don’t usually wear Tevas and jorts … but I’m trying to survive this rain.”

—

Sadly this is a very real problem

Overheard on Capitol Hill: 

Middle aged white guy talking on cellphone: “I try to stay away from day cares in buildings built before 1978 because of the lead.”

—

Bigger battles, bigger battles

Lobbyist testifying in a Congressional committee:

Congressman, trying to pronounce lobbyist’s last name (incorrectly): “Mister, it’s Falko?”
Lobbyist putting hand to ear: “I’m sorry?”
Congressman: “Falko?”
Lobbyist: “That’s fine, Congressman”

—

This explains the emails in our inbox from a draco@coolcats.com

A 30-something woman to her 1-year-old cat, who is trying to sneak into the crate where her 12-year-old cat is napping:

Woman: “No! That’s Draco’s bed, that’s not CATstiel’s bed! He doesn’t want you to sleep there. Respect his tea!”

—

You just know they take trivia VERY seriously 

People having a discussion at Astro Beer Hall:

Man: “We need a czar! Are you the czar?”
Woman: “I’m not the czar, but I’m quickly consolidating power.”

—

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.