Unsplash / James Barker

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

On the perimeter of Reston farmer’s market, a woman talks to her dog: “Read the sign. You can’t go in.”

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That explains it

Corner of 17th and R NW:
Pedestrian: “Oh my god! A D.C. cyclist who stops at a red light! Thank you!”
Cyclist: “I’m from Holland.”
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Just lean in

Two students walk on Georgetown’s campus.

Student 1 [disdainfully]: “Well…. he’s in the [business school].”
Student 2 groans
Student 1:”But he’s minoring in women’s and gender studies?”
Student 2 [laughing]: “And may god bless him.”
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Man in his 70s on a cell phone walking in Georgetown on a Monday evening.

“You know what’s terrifying? You know what’s terrifying?” Man pauses. “Stairs. Stairs are fucking terrifying.”

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And they say chivalry’s dead
During the Monday morning commute at L’Enfant Plaza Metro Station. Hundreds of people transferring from a green line train. A man in his 40s in a three piece suit throws his arm on the metro car door (as if holding an elevator) and with the other arm waves a woman onto the train.Woman mid-20’s with yoga mat enters the car: “You know they will just shut it on your arm, right?”

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I’ll have what they’re having

In the Chevy Chase McGruders wine and liquor store, the representative for some fancy brand of gin is giving his sales pitch, very loudly, to an elderly couple that seem a bit hard of hearing.

“And then they take the rose petals and masturbate them [….pause for two beats…] I mean masticate.”
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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.

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