Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Teenage girl on speakerphone in Ballston explaining to her friend how all of her boyfriend’s red flags should add together to equal a breakup:

“That’s not even girl math, that’s just logic math.”

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Um this is so dark?? WTF? 

At a restaurant in Columbia Heights, a little rat was walking between tables on the outside patio. Apparently, this was a reappearance. A man who was with his daughter stood up and stomped on the rat. While he was waiting for someone from the restaurant to come collect it and take it to its final resting place:

His daughter, around 6 years old, kept repeating: “Daddy, why did you do that? You shouldn’t have done that!”

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Feel old yet??? 

Two friends on the 43 bus discussing university housing:

“How’d you even hear it was overbooked?”
“From a Facebook group which my mom religiously sends me; I don’t own a Facebook.”

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Probably an ugly dog

At a bar in downtown D.C., a Brit is talking to an American as they watch people walking their dogs through the window:

Brit: “I used to have a dog named Wilson.”
American: “After the ball?”
The Brit sips his drink and coolly replies:
“After the Prime Minister.”

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Real 

Two men standing at the corner of G and 12th streets NW:

Man 1: “Orville said he walked all the way to Arlington and back. It was 16,000 steps.”
Man 2: “Why did he do that?”
Man 1: “He said he had nothing else to do.”

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Bets on neighborhood?

Overheard taking out recycling and garbage in a D.C. neighborhood. Tween girls are doing chores.

Girl 1: “You need to know I’m in these streets.”
Girl 2: (Stops what she’s doing) “You don’t even know what that means.”
Girl 1, with a look of disgust, pauses, drops the bag in her hand: “Of course I know what it means. I’m out here.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.