Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

Two women in their 30s are walking by Kalorama Park. One woman to the other:

“When I turned 27, I realized, ‘Woah, I’ve got to check myself before I wreck myself.’”

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One of the few movies Disney isn’t remaking, thankfully

On the Kennedy Center shuttle on a Friday night, two young men are discussing the plot line of Pocahontas:

One young man to the other: “Are we talking actual history or Disney?”

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Why not both?

Two young men are walking at 17th and P streets NW on Sunday afternoon:

Man 1: “Let’s screw lunch and go get wasted.”
Man 2: “Sounds good to me, let’s do it.”

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Thanks, Biden, for your Costco Wholesale plan

Two bespectacled early 30-something men are in the rotisserie chicken area at the Pentagon City Costco:

Man 1: “Do you want to get one of those tortured chickens?”
Man 2: “They don’t torture them anymore, that only happened under the Trump administration!”

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OK, I hear you… but did you know Usher is performing at the Super Bowl?

Saturday night during a big football game, a couple in their late 20s is walking past a crowded, obnoxious sports bar near 14th and U streets NW. The young woman, rolling her eyes at the loud group watching the game:

“I thank God every day that I’m not a sports fan.”

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“And this is the Golden Gate Bridge …”

A couple from out of town is crossing the Key Bridge:

Woman (points to Lincoln Memorial): “Is that the White House?
Man (considers): “Hmm… I think so!”
Woman (points to the Kennedy Center): “What about that one?”
Man: “The Rockefeller Center.”

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Maybe take him somewhere … fun?

On a Saturday afternoon outside the Giant in Silver Spring, a mother is pushing her toddler in a shopping cart. The toddler is screaming his head off.

Mother, speaks loudly to the screaming child: “I brought you to the grocery store for some fun … It has not been fun, not fun at all.”

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@Reagan_Aiport are you reading this? (p.s. the terminals really can be confusing.)

A group of teenagers are at the C gates in Terminal 2 at DCA, looking like they are headed home after a school trip.

One boy to another: “Dude, we are at the wrong terminal.”
Boy 2: “Do we have to go now?”
Boy 1: “We have to go to B terminal, they changed the gate. Is there a sky train here?”
Boy 2: “Dude, there has to be be.”

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Some questions should never be asked

At a Downtown Takoma eatery, a couple is on an early-in-the-relationship date. The man hazards a “for fun” question to break the ice:

Man: “So! Your mom switches bodies with your partner. And your partner switches bodies with your mom. How do you kiss your mom?”
Woman: “Um. Well. Gross?”
(Staring at phones ensues.)

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Sounds right

Woman and small child at Dulles Airport:

Child: “Who’s the boss of the airport?”
Woman: “I don’t know, Pete Buttigieg?”

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And I bet she doesn’t work for free, either

Two 30-something women are walking in West End, discussing remarks they just finished for an executive or high level person:

Woman 1: “Let’s hope she likes it.”
Woman 2: “I don’t work, I slay, slay. I don’t hope, I pray, pray.”
Woman 1 (pauses): “Was that Todrick Hall? I appreciate the reference.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.