If you’re anything like this writer, the last big election returns “party” you went to turned into a vast pit of sorrow and despair you’d like not to repeat. Or maybe you joyously tossed balloons and toasted champagne at your party’s continuing reign. Either way, the fate of the next two years of our country is being decided and you need a place to go tonight to watch, with trepidation and a beer, as the results come in. This is D.C., so you’ve got a few options:

The Post’s Going Out Gurus have the catalog of tonight’s election gatherings, dividing the town as they can only tonight, into “The Hill” and “Elsewhere.” The GoGs recommend the Capitol City Brewing Company, where many gay rights organizations are throwing a bash, and The Hawk and the Dove, where Democrats can dance to “Happy Days Are Here Again” all night…at least they hope. Lounge 201 brings in the Republicans with a Red State vs. Blue State Martini tally. Maybe the Greens can order an Appletini. We also hear the DCCC is holding an open party at the Hyatt Regency on the Hill starting at 8 p.m.

Get your liberal beats at Busboys and Poets’ open-mic night tonight, or stop by The Reef to take advantage of their enormous projection screen and $5 Grey Goose special. Conservatives may want to swing by Smith Point; we can think of a least one person who’ll be there.

If you’re looking to hang out with your charming DCist writers, a quick survey says our parties of choice are at Stetson’s kicking some ass at the pub quiz before heading up to watch the results come in; over at Warehouse, taking in an art show opening reception before grabbing a beer at their election party; or at the Drinx Lounge at the Verizon Center for a party hosted by MomentumUSA and the Washington Bar Association Young Lawyers. Meanwhile, our NoVa writers might be found drinking some beers at O’Sullivans in Clarendon.

You probably can’t toss a ballot without hitting an election party tonight, so where are you going? Or are you going to save yourself some cash and the embarrassment of crying in public (again) by staying home?

Photo by Flickr user twiseq, used under a Creative Commons license.

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