Back in January, the new Congress passed revamped ethics rules theoretically intended in part to minimize the influence of lobbyists on lawmakers and their staff. How our elected representatives hate lobbyists, with their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. “Oh, you’re gonna vote for ethanol subsidies, oh!” How can they hate lobbyists? The lobbyists put addictive chemicals — money, swag, and trips — in their dealings with lawmakers that make them crave lobbyist contact fortnightly, smartass. Without the new ethics rules in place, our lawmakers are completely unable to determine right from wrong on their own — powerless to resist the lavish meals and international excursions thrown at them in tacit exchange for their votes.

Among the new ethics regulations is the so-called “toothpick rule.” As the Wall Street Journal described it:

To cut down on wining and dining by lobbyists, the House and Senate have drafted new rules that bar lawmakers and congressional aides from accepting almost any meals from lobbyists. Hors d’oeuvres are an exception. So is “food that you have to eat standing up using a toothpick,” explains Washington lawyer Brett Kappel, who advises lobbyists and companies about ethics rules. Oyster pasta, the seafood lobbyists decided, would be difficult to eat with toothpicks.”

In? Oysters, blinis with smoked salmon and crème fraîche, risotto balls, bagels and muffins. Out? Steak dinners, linguine with white clam sauce, and the tasting menu at CityZen.