As our Gothamist friends picked up back in 2005, 28-year-old comedienne Jennifer Dziura is a pretty funny gal. After reading her bio, I quickly realized that I wanted to be her. The Dartmouth philosophy grad is a human smorgasbord, with past stints as a contraceptive tester, naked model for miscellaneous art schools, trapeze assistant, dot-com entrepreneur, and occasional comedy writer for McSweeney’s and the Idiot’s Guide to Jokes. Every Monday she emcees Williamsburg’s “Spelling Bee” at the bar Pete’s Candy Store, where weekly competitors vie for a paid bar tab.

Currently touring with her one-woman show, What Philosophy Majors Do After College, Dziura (pronounced Di-ZUR-a) will perform her “hilarity and spinoza” Wednesday night at DC Arts Center. Tonight, Dziura is joining fellow tour buddy Molly Crabapple, the Robert Crumb-inspired anti-artist, for Comedy Rock Star Sex Party. Dziura will host the music event at Red and Black, with performances by Death By Sexy and Monstertall. Over the phone, she explained that tonight is going to be loud and busy, while Wednesday is more of a private, Jen-in-the-spotlight show. She’s pretty excited for Wednesday, but mostly because of the DC Arts Center’s proximity to Amsterdam Falafel — a mere 59 feet away (she MapQuested it, naturally).

So the title of your show is, What Philosophy Majors Do After College. As an almost-graduated English major, I’m pretty smitten with this concept. And the answer? What are liberal arts majors supposed to do with their lives again?

Well, for me, it involved lots of volunteering for medical studies. You find them on Craigslist, newspapers, flyers around campuses. For a while, I was a professional contraceptive tester. That was pretty cool. I’d take pills and keep a diary, basically about having sex with my boyfriend. I wrote down what the consumers might care about. Another time I got paid to take an MRI (sounds especially giddy). More recently, I donated my eggs and was featured in this AP article on the topic.

Yes, I noticed your Eujenics blog, one of many on your Blogger profile. This one specifically documents the buying and selling of genetic material. I’m starting to realize you’re not the traditional Ivy League grad. Where does the four years of philosophy education fit into all this again?

In my show, I actually do a fifteen-minute “History of Western Philosophy” which does a solid job covering the undergrad philosophy education. I added a few philosophers recently. One of them is Ayn Rand — her part is hilarious. Then I expound on the epistemology comedically, to explain what one does with a degree in philosophy. For me, the short answer is telling grammar jokes in Wonder Woman underpants. But on a bigger level, the goal has always been to fuel all these strange experiences I get myself into back into my comedy.