(Photo by Alex Proimos)

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

There are some things you just don’t want to hear at the doctor’s office.

Overheard of the week:

Several middle-aged women sitting at an outdoor cafe in the Palisades:

First woman: “I spoke to an eminent urologist who said….” (inaudible whisper)
Second woman: “And this was the urologist?!”
First woman: “Sorry, I meant psychiatrist.”

——

Whose side are you on?

NoMa, Friday around 8 p.m.:

20-something on the phone: “No, no, Michelle’s not a fascist! She’s one of those people who’s part of the problem.”

——

A trip down memory lane?

At Politics and Prose at the Wharf:

Two twenty-something women are talking.

One woman, tapping on her phone, says to the other: “Ugh, I hate when I forget my password and I’m forced to relive my entire childhood through a series of security questions.”

——

The invisible hand at work

After the bars have closed on U Street, a girl in line is ordering a pizza slice.

Girl: “Can I get ranch with that?”
Woman behind the counter: “That will be 50 cents extra.”
Girl, shaking her head: “Capitalism. I get it.”
(She hands over the 50 cents.)

——

No thanks

Near Farragut West, 1:30 pm on Friday.

A woman on her lunch break: “That’s their mission: more men.” Pause. “Men!”

——

Is that how you work your core?

Outside a cafe near a busy corner of King Street:

Fit Girl: “That class was tough! It was hard to hold my core in the whole time.”
Guy with big gut: “I just let my core hang out.”

——

This is how you adult

Morning rush on the orange line.

A young 20s male with his House of Representatives intern badge proudly displayed calls his mom from the train:

“Are the maids coming today?”
“I’m just asking, no reason”
…
“Would you be nice and make my bed?”
“Thanks”

——

Nope

Two 20-something women on the S2 bus:

Woman 1: “The underground Metro takes the same route as the Metrobus, right?”

Woman 2: “Yes, it goes just underground right beneath the bus route above it on the street”.

Woman 1: “Yeah so you just take it if you want to get there quicker without traffic or delays”….

——

Sounds about right

At Jazz in the Garden. Two women walk up to find an enormous line for the women’s room:

Woman 1: “This is why we need more women architects.