Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A young woman, walking her dog and talking to a friend on 14th and P streets:

“So the apartment was supposed to be an English basement. This basement had never even studied abroad.”

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With the rate they’re growing these days, this is an easy mix-up

A woman walking down Columbia Road in a floor length, neon green dress, talking on the phone: 

“It’s not that I thought you couldn’t handle me, it’s that I thought you were a rat.”

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He has a future in branding

3 women in their late 20s/early 30s catching up in Meridian Hill Park:

Woman 1: “One of my friends is a professional ultimate frisbee player!”
Woman 2: “A professional?”
Woman 1: “Well yeah, I mean first he got his PhD, and then he had a breakdown, and now he’s a frisbee player.”

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Do NOT accept her invitations for “pasta night!” 

A couple, early 30s, is shopping at Whole Foods Capitol Hill South:

Woman: “But don’t we already have a jar of tomato sauce in the fridge?”
Man: “That’s salsa. SALSA.”

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She must have a patient pooch

Man and woman in their 30s in evening wear, going up an escalator at NoMa-Gallaudet station, Thursday evening. 

Woman: “Do you ever ride the metro?”
Man: “No, never.”
Woman: “I do, but it’s only to get my dog to places.”

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So … a pet rock it is?

Overheard around Lincoln Park. Two mid-20s women walking across a street:

“I would never get a pet I would have to feed.”

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D.C.’s Florida is more permissive

Three middle-aged men in suits sauntering across Florida Ave. NW on a Wednesday night, commenting on the strip club Assets.

One: “I mean, it’s amazing that it’s in this neighborhood. How’d they get the zoning rights?! What do they do in Orlando? They call them ‘steakhouses,’ y’know, to get around the zoning because Disney owns everything. And they serve steak!”
*The other two laugh and mumble in agreement.*

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Simple, elegant, no notes 

Saturday afternoon at Dupont Circle Fall Fest and Bluegrass Jamboree. The High and Wides male singer introduces a song: 

“This is a song about going down a road. It’s called ‘Going Down a Road.'”

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TIL Himalayan Wild Yak is a restaurant in Ashburn!

Saturday October 22, 2022, walking near the Rolling Meadow Bridge in Rock Creek Park. Two cyclists zipping past. 

Cyclist 1: “…Himalayan wild yak. If you’re in the mood for yak I highly recommend it.”

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Google maps is a dirty liar and we all know it 

A man and a woman zipping by on Lime scooters near the Washington monument Sunday afternoon. 

The woman yells over her shoulder, “‘Twelve minute walk’ my ass!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.