Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week:

A couple in the Portrait Gallery, presumably on a date: 

Person 1: “I do like Nicolas Cage! He stole the… Constitution? Constitution, he stole the Constitution.”
Person 2: “I don’t know, I don’t really keep up with politics.”

—

There is something sinister in the way they say “my pleasure”

Three 20-somethings are crossing the street late on a Saturday night: 

“I’ve never been so afraid in my life! It was the worst experience I’ve ever had with an edible. I ate Chik-fil-A and that jump-started the edible. I’m sure of it!”

—

Said no one who has “seen one” ever

King Street in Old Town Alexandria, on the Saturday night before Halloween. A woman is walking down sidewalk wearing a G-String costume with full buttocks exposed:

Bro in fighter pilot costume standing with a group of friends outside of one of the bars: “Yea, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

—

This is not incorrect

During a remote team meeting (call, no video):

Coworker 1: “What’s the name of the D.C. ice skating team?”
(Long pause)
Coworker 2: “…The Capitals?”

—

Those who can’t do, admire

Spectator to friends at 17th St High Heel Race:

“Oh honey, I don’t MAKE costumes, I ADMIRE costumes!”

—

In 63 million years, yes

At a Takoma eatery, a middle-aged woman gesturing extravagantly while describing an acquaintance: 

“She has all the wonderful privilege! She’s…Hawaiian.”
Then, drops her hands: “No, no, she’s Japanese. Hawaii is next to Japan, right?”

—

Hope everyone is okay I guess? 

30-ish year-old woman (low on empathy but high in volume) talking on her cell phone in apartment complex stairwell:

Woman: “A train derailment delayed my delivery … fuck that!”

—

NIMG (Not in MY Georgetown), a subsect of NIMBY 

A woman sitting with a man outside of Compass Coffee in Georgetown. A car honks aggressively at another car: 

Woman raising finger at the car as it drives off: “We don’t honk in Georgetown. No. No. No.”

—

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.