Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

At a popular new corner coffee shop/restaurant on Barracks Row in SE:

“Neurotic is too strong of a word. I’m like two levels below neurotic.”

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Bertha’s rubber he’s glue…

A man is walking his dog on Arkansas and 16th, at the top of the hill overlooking Piney Branch. The dog is off-leash, munching on an orange it found.

Man: “Bertha! You put that down or so help me we are going home!”
Bertha ambles over to the man, unfazed.
Man (to Bertha, disappointed): “What a shitty dog.”

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Humility is a virtue 

A woman in her 20s-30s walking in Northwest on Easter Sunday, presumably talking on her phone: 

“It’s all about personality over looks, but I’ve got both.”

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Same!

Middle-aged couple is at tulip festival at Burnside Farms in Nokesville, Virginia, on Easter Sunday:

Woman: “The thing is, within the next year or two I’m going to have to figure out what to do with my life.”
Man: “Your entire life?”
Woman: “Yeah.”

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Yeah it was probably just like that

Overheard in Marin International Airport in Puerto Rico, by a gate for a flight headed back to D.C. One woman is telling her travel companions (apparently) about her engagement ring:

“It’s like they wouldn’t let me through security. Like, ‘Woah, that rock’s too big!'”

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Are we sure?

While waking through the FDR memorial, admiring the cherry blossoms:

Child: Mom why are there zombies here?
Mom: Those aren’t zombies, they’re the Roosevelts.

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Well you, for one

Young 30-something woman speaking adamantly into her phone near Trader Joe’s on 14th Street. 

“The fact that I’m not over it has nothing to do with this. Who even cares?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.