Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week:  

A woman is on the phone, walking past the Chipotle on 14th Street in Columbia Heights:

“The first week went…well? But I don’t think (deep breath) working is for me.”

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“Found out the deal with the farmers market”

In line at the Dupont Farmers Market, a woman comes over to her partner waiting in line at one of the produce stands:

Woman: “Okay, so I found out the deal with the farmers market, it’s so, like, people can support local businesses and know where their food is coming from.”
Guy (dead serious): “That’s it? I don’t give a shit about that.”

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As the proverb goes, do unto Bruce Willis as you would have Bruce Willis do unto you

An older couple is sitting inside at The Line. The woman is on the phone, catching up and gossiping with a family member, presumably:

“I pray for her! Every night, she’s on my list. I pray for her, I pray for [unintelligible], I pray for Bruce Willis…(starts shaking her head and laughing) I pray for a whole list of actors I don’t even know!”

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What debt ceiling? 

At the Nationals game, one friend yelling goodbye to another at a particularly quiet part of the inning:

“Good luck at the debt ceiling hearing! Oh, and enjoy your trip to Paris!!”

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Good for her divorce lawyer, probably

Overheard at a D.C. golf course, two hungover corporate lawyers playing a round: 

One of them: “Apparently she’s the breadwinner, so you know how that’s gonna go.”

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Ballpark, yeah around there

Overheard at the Safeway on 14th Street SE: 

“I mean how many hot people are there in the world?!? A lot of them!”

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Several newsrooms would benefit from this level of fact-checking 

At the Nationals game on a Friday night. A couple in their 30’s sits down. The woman spends 10 minutes carefully composing an Instagram post, and then starts to type a caption:

Woman: “How does it go? Take me out to the ball… park?”
Man: “Ball game.”
Woman: “Are you sure?” *Googles the lyrics*

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*Insert Peppa Pig hanging up the phone clip*

On Capitol Hill, a young Hill staffer is on her cell phone, deeply upset by what she has witnessed: 

“You would not BELIEVE the amendments she sponsored for the bill. They made me sick. I don’t know how she could live with herself after sponsoring such sickening amendments. In my YEAR of working on the Hill I’ve never seen such things.” (Pause.) “Did you know her husband divorced her because she was too good at being a Senator?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.