Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Two young women walking at the waterfront in Georgetown, speaking in calm, sincere tones of voice:

A: “If you want, I can hit you with my car after.”
B: “Thanks. I would really appreciate that.”

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She Barbenheimed 

In Van Ness, two kindergarten boys talking about the Barbie movie in a playground sandbox:

Boy 1: “It’s not for kids. It’s really long. My mom was gone for like, 10 hours.”

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Close enough 

In the Mt. Vernon Square Metro station around noon on a Friday, a family (grandparents, parents, and two young kids) waits on the platform waiting for the Yellow Line train to pull in.

Grandpa, to the rest of his family: “This is our train. We have to get off at La Elephant or something.”

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They’re our North Star

Two young people standing outside at Union Station after midnight, waiting for a ride:

A: “Aww, I just saw a rat!”
B: “Home sweet home.”

—

When my cat comes back in the room after leaving for five minutes

One of two women heading down 23rd Street in Foggy Bottom, hugging each other sideways as they walk:

“I am so happy to see you. Like I am frickin’ ELATED.”

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Unlike most other people, surely

Two 20-something women talking while walking on a Rock Creek trail:

Woman 1: “Well, really, he’s a fully-formed person — and therefore somewhat complicated.”

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Woman Bites Dog? 

14th and P streets, a group of 50-somethings:

Woman: “Well, I was trying to bite her, and I guess she didn’t want to get bitten.”

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No fun to think in such absolutes

Two young women are talking to each other about work at a dog park in NoMa:

“So I can’t believe Jason and I had to tell them, ‘If you put something in your vagina, you can’t put it in your butt!'”

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Kinda how I still feel about it to be honest

Three boys, aged about 8-10, talking at Phoebe Hearst pool:

“We saw this thing about puberty and I didn’t get any of it. I said, ‘Bro, what is this?’”

—

Just make sure it matches the navy blue sheets

Near the convention center, a group of four, possibly a family consisting of a mother, father, and two daughters in their late teens to mid-20s, are walking to a restaurant:

Father: “You know, your brother is leaving for college in a few weeks.”
Daughter 1: “I know. I’m helping him pick decor for his room.”
Father, expressing a combination of surprise and mockery: “Decor?”
Daughter 1: “Yeah, but it’s hard to come up with, like, boy wallpaper. I kind of think he should just hang up like a flag of Texas.”

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She’s defrosting…

Three women and two strollers, midday Saturday at the intersection of 16th and R streets NW:

“I think we’re going apple picking.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.