Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

A young man on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial:

“So, this is where Abe Lincoln sits and ponders all the sh*t we’ve done to the Union he saved.”

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Same scene, different conversation 

A mom and son at the Lincoln Memorial: 

Mom: “What type of columns are these?”

Son: “They start with an ‘I’. Igneous!”

Mom: “No, that’s a type of rock. What style are they?”

Son: “Ionic!”

Mom: “OK, good memory. But, no, they are Doric. You don’t see enough columns most days to remember. So that was a good try!”

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It IS that TikTok! 

An older gentleman on the phone on the H2 bus headed toward Brookland.

“You fuck with the kids, you fuck with the world. They’re the future. I mean, it’s that TikTok.”

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If he wanted to, he would

Two 20-something women talking about a recent date while waiting for takeout in Georgetown:

Woman 1 explains a date: “…and then we went back to his place and he made me French toast.”
Woman 2 sensually in a low voice: “That’s SO hot.”

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I hope you’re talking about mosquitoes

Two people in Kalorama:

Person 1: “They are everywhere, man!”

Person 2: “I know. And they go through your pants and your clothes and everything! I’m over it!”

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Oh, to be a precocious child again

A group of eight adults and kids, sitting down to a delicious-looking Sunday afternoon lunch outside Matchbox:

Child (probably about 8 years old): “Buon appetito, time to eatto!”

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Is this better or worse than a group house? 

A 20-something woman, on the phone during an evening walk in Adams Morgan:

“I think he’s still got a sketchy living situation. Like, he’s 26, he got dumped by his girlfriend, and he’s living in a commune. I mean, come ON, figure your shit out!”

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I don’t dance, I’m from the town in Footloose

At the Dave Alvin and Jimmie Dale Gilmore show at the Birchmere near the end of the show. Dave Alvin noted the stuffiness of a Washington crowd:

“This is truly one of the great clubs in the world….except you all need to work on that dancing thing.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.