Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

Catholic University’s student union. Two 20-something women are selling friendship bracelets by the door. A cute guy walks by.

Woman 1, heavily caffeinated: “Hey! Want to buy a freshman — darn it!”
*same guy walks by*
Woman 1: (aside to friend) “I got this.” To guy: “Do you want a fresh—”

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Innovation in STEM

Overheard at the Homegoods store in Alexandria. Mom is shopping with young boy (~8 yo). Boy discovers dryer balls:

“Mom, are these for indoor snowball fights?”

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A McKinsey intern, Jordan Belfort, and Bernie Madoff walk into a bar…

Overheard outside Placemkr in Dupont Circle. Two middle-aged men in suits talking, then one says very clearly:

“Well, there are a lot easier ways to embezzle money.”

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I don’t think the math is mathing 

An airline employee taking to another airline employee walking through DCA:

“Antibiotics isn’t medicine. Antibiotics is antibiotics. It’s an astringent!”

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Don’t tell Big Pharma

A few minutes after 6 p.m., a family with three children stands in the door of Trader Joe’s in Eastern Market:

Boy, 9-11-ish years old: Pizza heals you better than any hospital!

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Nobody’s perfect

Early morning, mother pushing a stroller with a toddler in it on the Riverwalk towards Yards Park. Spotting a plane angling up in the sky from National airport, the mother says in a high-pitched, sing-songy way:

Mother: See the plane. Up, up and away…
Toddler: Up, up and away.
Mother: Remember going on a plane to see grandma and acting a fool?
Toddler: …

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Life is like a fine wine

On the Tenleytown Metro escalator:

Man (on the phone): I know what to look for, smell for, taste…

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.