Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here. 

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

This is the last Overheard of 2023 — thanks for a great year, and keep those submissions coming! Want to relive the year in Overheards? We’ve rounded up some of the highlights here. 

Overheard of the Week: 

At the National Cathedral’s Christmas Eve service:

A young woman to her friend during prayer: “I didn’t know this would be religious.”

—

#priorities

Boomer on the phone to his son: “We’re going to hot pot to eat first, then to watch The Color Purple, and that should let us get back in time to catch the end of the KC Chiefs game so she can see Taylor Swift on the Jumbotron.”

—

We’ve all been there 

On the 54, a gaggle of teenage girls are wrestling over someone’s phone: 

Teen 1 (holding the phone:) “Ok but lemme just text him REAL quick..”

Teen 2: “NO NO NO.”

—

Paging DuoLingo

Across the street from the Tenleytown Giant:

Woman: “If only I had learned Spanish, but it’s too late now …”

—

It was vegan before it was cool … 

At a holiday party in Greenbelt, three teens talking about hummus:

One teen: “Is hummus vegan?”

Another: “Hummus is like the most vegan thing ever.”

—

Yapping is his power pose

Two women walking their dogs in D.C., small dog is barking furiously at a large dog walking calmly by:

Owner to small dog: “Don’t pretend … that dog could take you out.

—

That’s just like, your opinion man …

At the festive, family-friendly matinee performance of the Washington Ballet’s The Nutcracker, after several acts in Set 1:

Young boy, at the top of his voice: “No, no, no, no, no, BORING!”

[The top half of the theater bursts out laughing]

—

Accurate

At home in NW D.C., two adult sisters on the day after Christmas:

Sister 1 to sister 2: “To me, makeup is like pants; only worn when necessary.”

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.