“Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don’t hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent — I don’t care which one — but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.”
—Brodie, Mallrats

I was conditioned perhaps a little too heavily to fear and respect the escalator. While I had no trouble riding up, getting on from the top was a daunting prospect as a child. Standing on the brink, waiting for the exact right moment to step out on the tiny moving platform always initiated visions of tumbling down to the landing below, where some piece of clothing would inevitably get caught in the mechanism at the bottom and suck me underneath while I lay unconscious. I have no doubt that the view from the top of the Dupont Circle metro escalator would have broken my tiny mind. OK, so maybe I was a neurotic kid. But there comes in every young person’s life — some just later than others — a moment when we embrace the efficiency of the moving staircase, and wonder why we still have ridiculously outdated stationary ones anywhere at all. We watched the Jetsons. We could see what the future was supposed to bring. Some of us even carry that enthusiasm into adulthood. Now, if only everyone could be so excited about the concept of standing to the right, walking to the left…

Quote of the Week

Heading down the Dupont Circle metro escalator at midnight:

Drunk, early-twenties, crew-cut military man, to friend: “Dude, I LOVE escalators. When I get rich and have a big house, I’m gonna have so many freaking escalators in it – even if it’s only one story high. I’ll take an escalator to the attic.”

After the jump, the speeding ticket gestapo, looking through Adolf-colored glasses, and dazzling equines.

There is a certain art involved in eavesdropping. Send your masterpieces to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.

Photo by Flickr user bethhowe1.