Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

One of the staff members at the Maryland Renaissance Festival:

“Welcome to the Renn Faire! Yes! We all have trauma here!”

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Kid’s been watching too much Jack Ryan

Two teenagers and their parents are walking on 17th Street near Pennsylvania Avenue, around the corner from the White House. The older teenage boy:

“Well, this is nothing like my image of Washington, D.C.”

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*Goes to a typically crowded event expecting peace and quiet*

A woman, flustered by the large crowds at the Dupont Circle Farmers’ Market:

“It’s like dogs and small children are taking over the world!”

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This is his Roman Empire

On Virginia Avenue near the Watergate, a middle-aged man is talking to a younger woman, who has absolutely no expression on her face:

“…and then the French instituted an emperor, a Habsburg emperor, and then…”

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Do you know how much those things are worth these days???

On Connecticut Avenue, just north of Dupont Circle, two youngish people are chatting:

“It’s like, he lost his Pokémon cards in the divorce.”

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Us lactose intolerants need to stick together

Three 20-something football players at Catholic University as the food hall fire alarm goes off:

“Stop trying to break back in. We don’t care that you want more oat milk.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.