Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

A young woman in her 20s talking with a couple in their 40s or 50s on the Cleveland Park Metro platform:

“Oh, it isn’t orgy unless there’s at least five people! ‘Cuz otherwise, it’s just a threesome or maybe two couples.”

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Can he speak to the manager?

Dog looks longingly at its human in front of an empty bowl outside of Open City:

Woman, to the dog: “The biscuit shortage continues. There’s nothing there. We can try again later.”
A stranger, observing nearby: “Bummer.”

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Who did you think was saying “stand clear, training moving” over the intercom?

On a very very packed Green Line train full of people heading to the march for Palestine on Saturday:

A woman to her friend: “Wait, someone’s driving this? I thought these were automatic.”

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We love a spirited transportation debate

At the Cleveland Park Farmers Market on Saturday, a couple of men are trying to rally opposition to a new bike lane.

Man, to a passing woman: “Have you heard about the bike lanes they’re putting in here?”
Woman: “Yeah, we like bikes.”
Man: “Okay, well …” [he trails off]

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Sounds like he should meet the woman above ^

Around 5 p.m., a man is talking on his phone while standing at the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 10th Street NW:

“I’m in a city. There are a lot of cars.”

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Believing in yourself is the first step to success

A 20-something couple on a date at a sushi restaurant in Penn Quarter:

Woman: “I’m very happy with where I am in life because I am so successful. My performance review was stellar.”
Man: “But you wrote it.”
Woman: “Well, yeah, but my boss signed off on it.”

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Dog dad jokes

A man meets up with the rest of his family at the L’Enfant Plaza promenade during the International Spy Museum’s Parade of Trabants. The family’s dog has an adornment around its neck.

Man to family: “The dog got lei’d!”

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She’s only slightly exaggerating

Three kids and their mom exploring the inside of an old American Airlines plane at the Air and Space Museum:

Boy 1: “Why do they only show us first class?”
Mom, dripping with sarcasm: “Because in coach they just strapped you to the wall.”

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Wholesome!

On Columbia Road around 2 p.m., a man and a woman are walking with grocery bags of snacks and two small gift bags that resemble those given out at District Curators, the dispensary in Adams Morgan:

Man to woman: “From now on, Thursday is brother-sister day!”
Woman: *Starts laughing*

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.