Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

A group of guys is visiting D.C. from West Virginia, drinking at a pub in Eastern Market. One of the guys:

“Hey, do you have a video of our friend wearing that inflatable chicken costume at the funeral?”

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Sounds like he’s giving himself advice?

A guy in athletic gear is walking down the street and talking on the phone. The guy declares, emphatically:

“It’s a funeral. Don’t wear shorts.”

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The only way to cope with the team’s move to Virginia

At the Washington Capitals vs. Dallas Stars game on a Thursday. Men in their 20s are talking about how one of them won a $500 Giant gift card from participating in a fan puck-shot game.

Fan 1: What did you buy with it?
Fan 2: Beer. Lots of beer.

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Justice for carbs

At the Giant in Columbia Heights, a woman and her 10 or 11-year-old child are shopping. The boy takes out a frozen package of riced cauliflower from their shopping cart.

The boy, loudly: “What the fuck is this?”

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Ok.

On a shuttle bus to the Kennedy Center, a lower elementary school girl watches as her father types text messages.

Girl: Why aren’t there periods?
Dad: When adults type they don’t always use periods.

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The CDC’s worst nightmare

A Saturday night at the entrance to a freshman dorm at Catholic University. A freshman boy, talking to himself and angrily stomping through the door after smoking with his friends outside:

“Damn it, now I’m going to need my Albuterol!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.