Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

On the Yellow Line train at Pentagon City, a 20-something woman is laughing with her male friend on a Saturday evening:

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And they said print was dying …

Three late 20s women discussing porn consumption habits at Perry’s Restaurant: 

One woman to the other two: “My grandpa still has a print subscription to Smut magazine.”

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I think you’re missing the point of a botanic garden

Two 20-something women, soon after entering the leafy “Season’s Greenings” holiday exhibit in the U.S. Botanic Garden conservatory at the foot of Capitol Hill:

Woman to her friend: “I hope it’s not all just plants.”

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It’s also a gas station, a late-night takeout spot, a five-star restaurant …

A tourist couple is walking around Georgetown and passes by the Wawa:

Woman to her partner: “Ohh look, a a grocery store!”

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Oh, the irony 

A young couple strolling their baby at Eastern Market:

Man: “Think about it. When is Valentine’s Day?”
Woman: “I don’t know, sometime in February?”
Man: “All the babies with October and November birthdays. I mean, we should be able to control that.”

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This is how fare evasion begins

A family at a kiosk in the Foggy Bottom station. The dad is visibly frustrated trying to reload his SmarTrip card:

Ten-year-old-ish boy: “Dad. That card is for Chicago.”

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What emotion does that make Jo Koy?

A young man is walking up the stairs from the Rhode Island Avenue Metro station to the Metropolitan Branch Trail and talking on his cell phone:

Man: “I’ve got emotions, and Taylor Swift is the happy emotion.”

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Great, now I’m going to wonder what’s on the back of every Metro ad …

Late Sunday night on a Green Line northbound train, there’s an ad for “protecting the nation from advanced missile threats.” A 20-something man in a T-shirt, shorts, and sandals flips the poster over and writes on the blank side in fading green ink: “End American Imperialism!” before getting off at Columbia Heights. The man sitting nearest promptly gets up and flips the poster back to the ad before getting off at the next stop.

A third passenger who watched it all go down: “That guy needed a Sharpie.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.