Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week

A person is on the phone in an Adams Morgan gift shop:

Shopper: “Any ideas for gifts for my 3-year-old godson?”
(Pauses to listen to the person on the other line)
“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in three months, so just something to make sure he doesn’t forget who I am.”

—

Cheaper than a visit to the doctor’s, I guess?

A man is shopping with a woman at the Adams Morgan Harris Teeter on Thursday evening:

Man: “What’s he gonna do? I did my homeopathic shit. Eat the garlic. Drink the soup.”

—

What Wikipedia page did you pull this from?

A man is talking to his early-20s son while ascending the escalator at the Gallery Place-Chinatown Metro station from the lower tracks platform:

Father: “Is there a galleria here?”
Son looking up at the vaulted ceilings: “Yeah, probably. That’s probably where the name came from.”
Father: “Only galleria I know of is on U Street … second biggest in the country.”
Son: “Oh, yeah.”

—

She’s got nothing on Genovia, I heard.

A man and woman, both in their early 20s, are talking in Kramer’s:

Woman: “I need to plan my next solo trip.”
Man: “I just went to Slovenia”
Woman: “That’s like the third time I’ve heard about Slovenia. Is she really that girl?”

—

If one goes missing, we know who took it…

A woman in her mid-30s is speaking to an older woman at the U.S. Botanic Garden in the hydroponic tomato exhibit:

Younger woman, perusing the tomatoes: “You know, I haven’t had a good tomato in years!”

—

She was probably tongue-tied *ba dum tss*

Two women, late 20s, having lunch in the food hall in Foggy Bottom:

Woman: “My ex came by last week while [my partner] was away. I still like him, and one thing led to another. That evening [my partner] came home and I hear him in the bedroom: ‘Honey? Your special rope? Why is it full of knots?'”

—

Careful, you may wake the Ghost of Jan. 6 Past

Outside of the DC USA shopping center in Columbia Heights, a vendor is yelling like they’re selling ice-cold beer at a Nats game:

Vendor: “Pepper spray, pepper spray! Stun guns, stun guns! Tasers, tasers!”

—

Sooo, basically you live on the tarmac at DCA?

Two 20-something guys are talking in the cafe in the lower level of the Dirksen Senate Office Building:

Guy 1: “I’m in Navy Yard. Like all the way at the bottom.”
Guy 2: “Like, near the sea?”
Guy 1: “I’m deep in Navy Yard. I’m basically in Virginia.”

—

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.