The Capital Fringe Festival gets started in earnest today, with offerings all over town. Highlights include sci-fi dating, middle school antics, Canadian exports, songs for the deaf, a day-long performance piece, and spoonbending. It could be a little overwhelming if DCist weren’t here to guide you through it, no? So before we get into it, let us first introduce OUR AWESOME FRINGE FESTIVAL MAP, which details the locations of all Fringe venues, by date. Special thanks to DCist Tom for putting that together. You can go directly to all of DCist’s coverage of Fringe here.

[For more details and directions, click on the links.]

Theatrical Performances

May 39th, by the DC Dollies and the Rocketbitch Revue
“No matter how much things change, some things will always be a pain in the ass.” That’s how local playwright and bona fide Blogebrity Callie Kimball frames her future shock-look at 31st century dating in Washington, D.C. [Touchstone Gallery, 5 p.m.]

Spring Alibi
, Northern Sabbatical Productions/LUE42Enterprises
This play about “voyeurism, food, and the 8-track tape” is one of a handful of shows that made waves at the 2005 Edmonton Fringe. Written by Canadian football addict Linda Wood Edwards, the play, her first, won the Nakai Theatre’s 24 Hour Playwriting Competition. [Canadian Embassy, 5:30 p.m.]

4.48 Psychosis, Wit’s End Productions
From the College of William and Mary, Wit’s End Productions mount this ambitous play by Sarah Kane. Kane, who suffered from bipolar disorder, wrote this almost formless piece, which seeks to replicate the P.O.V. of the mentally ill, with the seeming intent for it to be produced posthumously. [Flashpoint, Mead Theatre Lab, 7:30 p.m.]

Lunch, Bouncing Ball Theatrical Productions
Ready to relive your tween angst? With words and music by Shawn Northrip and directed by Shirley Serotsky, who recently staged Lee Blessing’s Two Rooms for Theatre Alliance, Lunch weaves storylines straight from the cafetorium of Benjamin Franklin Middle School. [PEPCO’s Edison Place Gallery, 8 p.m.]

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Cowboys Grow Up To Be Actors, by James Beard
James Beard’s solo piece, about his life chasing after acting glory and dodging the wrath of his family, is based on years of experience and expertly honed in front of friends and strangers. Word is the show’s an absolute comic hootenanny. [National Building Museum Auditorium, 9 p.m.]