Last time we live blogged the House debate on District voting rights, things didn’t go too well. We’re hoping for a bit of an improvement today. From what we’ve heard on the Hill, debate kicks off at 10:30 a.m., and the legislation has been split up into two separate parts — one covering the actual voting seats both D.C. and Utah would receive and the other dealing with the minor increase in annual spending the additional seats would carry with them. Should both pass, they’d move on to the Senate; should one pass and the other fail, the legislation as a whole would be tabled.

We’re not expecting any surprises, but we can’t expect that someone won’t try and throw a wrench in the works at some point. For all we know, at the end of the day the District might end up as Maryland’s newest county. Or we might all be forced by law to wear funny hats. Or Congress might just tire of us all together and give us to Canada in exchange for the Yukon Territory. Whichever way it goes, we’ll be here watching, waiting and likely tearing out our hair when Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) speaks.

10:16: Holy crap! Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) is totally going on about the “barbaric procedure” of…oh, well, he’s talking about yesterday’s Supreme Court’s abortion decision. Stick around, Mike. The debate starts in a few.

10:30: Ugh. They’re debating some bill on water for the next hour. Seriously, WTF?

10:47: Sweet. We’re off! An hour of debate kicks off now.

10:50: Rep. Michael Arcuri (D-NY) has kicked it off for the legislation, calling the District’s status “repugnant to the very notion of democracy.” He’s laying out the case, arguing that the Constitution grants Congress broad powers over the District. “Taxation without representation is tyranny,” he says. Damn straight.

10:56: Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Tex.) is now making the case against the legislation, arguing that the Democrats have abused the rights of the minority party to propose amendments. First off, why does Texas hate us so? Second, Pete, you would know something about abusing power, wouldn’t you? Hell, you guys were in power for 12 years! Now he’s quoting George Washington law professor Jonathan Turley, who has expressed his legal opposition to the legislation. Oh, and there he goes with the “several states” part of the Constitution, a fact that “any fourth grader” can tell you. Snap! Oh, no he didn’t! He said the “Democrat” Party. Ok, now he just claimed it’s unfair to give D.C. “super-representation.” Damn! He’s on to our secret — D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton has super powers. Maybe she’ll use her laser eyes to do away with him.

11:05: Rep. Betty Sutton (D-Oh.) is up. Wow. She’s speaks loudly, and somewhat awkwardly. It’s kinda like she doesn’t know the microphone is on. Now she’s going through some key years — D.C. residents have waited 170 years for a vote in presidential election, 180 years for home rule. “Why make them wait any longer?” No idea, Betty.

11:12: Rep. Sessions is back. It seems that only a few Republicans are looking to line up against the legislation, and he’s asked that the Democrats limit the number of speakers in favor. And it looks like they will. Now Rep. David Dreier (R-Calif.) is up. For those who are curious, he represents Rancho Cucamonga, possibly the best-named city in the nation. He’s complaining about the rules the Democrats have established for the debate. It seems that Republicans are less peeved about the legislation than they are about not being able to dictate House rules. As a clarification — this debate is actually on the rules for the real debate on the legislation, which is up next. So, they’re debating on how to debate.

11:21: And our own Super Norton is up. According to her, if D.C. was largely Republican, this debate wouldn’t be happening. And she’s been asked to yield. Her response: “I will not yield!” This woman has passion. Wow. Some Republican just demanded that Norton address her comments to the Speaker of the House, not directly at other members (it’s apparently tradition). He then swatted the microphone away in a pissy fashion. This is about as heated as Congress gets. In other countries, they’d be throwing punches by now. And Norton would win.

11:30: Norton is still going, focusing on how Utah, a Republican state, would similarly benefit from the legislation.

11:32: Sessions is back on, talking about how if this should be done, it should be done right, via a constitutional amendment as was attempted in 1978. Now Dreier is talking, and he’s praising Norton’s passion and performance as our representative. He’s running scared. Oh, and he yielded to Norton. She’s praising him for objecting on procedural matters, not the substance of the legislation. This has suddenly become a praise-fest.

11:37: Norton is arguing that if there is any debate over the constitutionality of the measure, the courts should be the ones to decide it. Oops! Time up. Norton just got gavelled. And she just got heckled. Wow. She’s apparently being a little too aggressive for the House’s temperament.

11:45: Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-NC) is now speaking. Oh, and here we go. He mentions retrocession to Maryland as a feasible solution. He’s also defending the role Republicans are playing as constitutional scholars, and he’s accused Democrats of a “raw power-grab.”

11:48: Rep. Tom Price (R-Ga.) is talking about retrocession. Ok, how about a fair trade — we’ll become part of Maryland if Georgia grants a 69-square-mile block to Alabama. Deal?

11:55: Ok, so Rep. Sessions and Rep. Arcuri are closing out the debate. But we’re barely getting started! Remember, this is the debate on the debate of the first piece of the legislation, and there is a whole other piece of legislation that needs to be considered. A vote was just called on the rules for the real debate, which is likely up next and will last an hour. So, we just furiously live blogged a debate that really isn’t the real debate. Ugh.

Lindsay here, taking the live blogging reigns from Martin.
12:25:It looks like the first procedural vote has passed 219-196.

12:34: Now, the good stuff. John Conyers (D-Michigan) starts the actual debate on the D.C. vote. He begins with a shout-out to Monday’s march and outlines the basic arguments for District voting rights. Oh, snap! Conyers met a D.C. veteran with dual citizenship in Iraq, where he gets to vote for a legislative representative, something he doesn’t get in Washington.

12:37: Lamar Smith (R-Texas) says the bill in unconstitutional because D.C. isn’t a state and the creation of Utah’s At-Large representative gives some Utah voters a double vote in the House. Back to the “super-representation” argument. A vote for the District can only be created by a constitutional amendment and this bill only gives D.C. half of their rights, with no Senators. Smith adds he would support retrocession.

12:46: Speaker Nancy Pelosi takes the floor. She loves Eleanor, she loves Waxman, Conyers, Davis and Hoyer. She won’t rest until we get voting rights. Put on a pot of coffee, Mabel!

12:50: Fairfax’s own Tom Davis (R-Va.) says we shouldn’t have to refute every single possible legal objection in order to pass the bill. David checked out the Republican website, which says the party aims to increases representation. “This isn’t an argument about what Congress can do, it’s about what it’s willing to do.”

12:55: Jerry Nadler (D-NY) reminds us that in the 1800’s the Supreme Court said the District IS a state for the purposes of suing citizens of other states. QED, Congress has the authority to consider D.C. a state for the purposes of representation.

1:00: Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) wants to eliminate the job of Delegate if D.C. gets a Rep. Yada yada yada, he’s afraid of Utah and D.C. getting “super representation”

1:07: Arthur Davis (D- Alabama) says Republicans who want to apply the Second Amendment to the District are tacitly admitting that D.C. is considered to be a “state” for the purposes of constitutional law. If the Constitution doesn’t apply, he thinks poll taxes could be instituted in D.C.?

1:13: Gohmert Time! Louie brought visual aids! He’s got a blown-up version of Article 1, section 2 with the word “states” highlighted. He’s bringing up that Congressmen have a “vested interest” in the District again. He’s boasting about his bill to recede land to Maryland.

1:17 Super Norton’s up. She suggests asking Maryland whether they want the District back. We suspect they don’t

1:18: Sheila Jackson Lee is wearing a gigantic purple scarf and challenges whether we can be in a “more perfect union” without passing the bill.

1:22: No, Louie hasn’t asked Maryland if they’ll roll out the red carpet. Also, Gohmert’s afraid that the Pentagon and other military bases could get their own representative. Gotta love the slippery slope argument.

1:24: Maxine Waters (D-California) chatted with her cab driver on the way to work. She was ashamed to tell the driver, who’s got two sons in Iraq, about today’s debate. Also, she loves Eleanor, a lot.

1:26: Mike Pence (R- Indiana) quotes Ken Starr and Justice Scalia in saying Congress has the power to extend rights to the District. Strange bedfellows indeed.

1:29: Elijah Cummings (D- Md) and Jim Moran (D- Va.) both stand up for 20 sec. to voice their support. Tom Price (R-Georgia) is back. He too is afraid of super-enfranchised voters from Utah and D.C. terrorizing the nation with their laser-beam eyes and titanium-strength ballot boxes.

1:37: Steny Hoyer: D.C.’s voteless status is an embarrassment, District residents don’t want to be part of Maryland. He’s talked to 25 legal scholars who confirm Congress has the power to create a seat for D.C., quotes Frederick Douglass.

1:49: Lots of other Dems voice their support. Stephen Cohen (D-Tenn), (remember him, the one who tried to join the Congressional Black Caucus?) makes a baseball metaphor and supports the bill.

1:54: Norton puts a fine point on the debate by bringing race into it. Her great-grandfather was a runaway slave who settled in Washington. For that, she gets a smattering of applause. Goodlatte summarizes the opposition and Conyers the support. Whew! That’s more over 24 speakers in just over an hour. Now we’ve got a few more minor motions. We’ll be back with coverage on the actual vote.

UPDATE: The House voted in favor of the D.C. Voting Rights Act, however, if they don’t also approve H.R. 1906, which says taxes must be raised to pay for any new programs created, both motions could be tabled. Representatives are now hashing out the wisdom of linking voting rights to budgetary legislation.